


Who You Want Me To Be

by preciouslittletime



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:14:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27205073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/preciouslittletime/pseuds/preciouslittletime
Summary: The guy looks towards the door and then leans down a bit so his words aren’t drowned out by the music. “What’s wrong?”Shinwon peers up at him. “My ex just walked in the door.”
Relationships: Ko Shinwon/Yang Hongseok
Comments: 14
Kudos: 69





	Who You Want Me To Be

**Author's Note:**

  * For [changgus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/changgus/gifts).



> HAPPY BILLY DAY!
> 
> We're doing a little bite-sized version of the ol' fake relationship chestnut. This time in the format of "please pretend to be my boyfriend for five minutes". 
> 
> This is un-beta'd.

Shinwon doesn’t like going to clubs. 

They are always way too loud. The floor is always sticky and the ventilation is always bad. There are so many people on the dancefloor already, undulating like some kind of horny amoeba, and Shinwon can’t help but feel incredibly out of place standing at the bar alone.

He wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for Hyunggu  _ begging _ him to “come out for once”. He threw a couple other pleas in there. Something about “getting back out there” and “moving on” and “rebound”. All things that culminated into the patented Hyunggu Whiny Argument that always ended up getting him what he wanted.

So he’s here. At some gay club in Itaewon. Alone. Sending six texts in a row to the group chat.

_ I’m here. _

_ Where are you guys? _

_ Hello? _

_ If I die from being alone, I’m going to haunt this club. _

_ I’ll spew ectoplasm all over you guys every time you try to hook up with somebody here. _

_ My friendship with all of you is terminated _

Jinho:  _ We’re on the way calm down _

Hyunggu:  _ Coming  _ 😘

Jinho:  _ Somebody wasn’t ready when I showed up _

Hyunggu: 😒

Hui:  _ The Map Says We Are Two Hours Away _

Jinho: _ Oh my god. Ignore him, he doesn’t know how to use maps on his phone. _

Hui:  _ :[ _

Hyunggu:  _ Just get a drink! We will be there soon! _

Shinwon looks down at his phone for several seconds before a sudden beat drop startles him away from it. Behind him the crowd is clapping along and there’s enough bass that he can feel it ping-ponging off the interior of his ribcage. He rests his elbows back on the bar, leans down to drink through the little cocktail straws of his drink, and truly, honestly, considers leaving.

It’s unsurprising that his friends wanted him to come out. It had been three months since the break up - long enough that his unwillingness to do anything but work and lie face first on Hui’s couch had started to become concerning.

The break up wasn’t his idea. Obviously. 

He thought they had been doing just fine. He thought they were on the right track. So, he was blindsided by the sudden “I really think we’re better off as friends” and the “sometimes I think our chemistry is really good but it’s mostly physical”. Which had hurt in a way Shinwon isn’t ready to express verbally. He’s always known he’s been a little closed off. That had been part of the reason his relationship had failed in the first place. In his defense, being known that deeply is  _ scary _ . 

Either way, it was seven months of a relationship down the drain in the span of a twenty-seven minute conversation and the most depressing bus ride he’s ever taken in his life. 

So, yes, regardless of Hyunggu getting exactly what he wanted out of Shinwon, there was some validity to the statements he had made. Initially, Shinwon getting out of the house and back on the metaphorical horse seemed like a completely reasonable thing to attempt after 93 days of being miserable. He just hadn’t expected the first hour of turning that new leaf to involve him pounding three cocktails in a row and trying to make himself invisible.

He glances at his phone again before he sets it down flat on the bar and downs his drink like it’ll give him the courage not to sprint out the front door. He sucks at the straw until it gurgles and then picks it up enough to get the last dregs out from beneath the ice cubes.

That’s when he makes eye contact. With two coffee stirrers between his teeth and suckling at the corner edge of a highball glass. He’d recognize that mop of hair at the door anywhere on the planet.

“Oh, shit.”

Shinwon turns away and faces the bar. He slams his drink down a little harder than he means to, puts his hands flat on the wood and wills for a hole in the ground to magically appear and swallow him whole.

The whole situation is stupid. Dumb. Ridiculous. Of course he’d show up. Out of all the nightclubs in Seoul, out of all the nights to be going out, they’ve managed to end up in the same place at the same time. 

At first, Shinwon doesn’t realize he’s so close to another person at the bar until the guy speaks. He’s standing almost shoulder to shoulder to Shinwon, giving him an amused sort of smile that’s less condescending and more fond than he expects considering how fucking stressed out Shinwon looks. 

“Are you okay?”

Shinwon takes a second to  _ really _ look at the guy. He’s wearing a pair of chelsea boots and black jeans like Shinwon is, and he’s got on a black v-neck that’s so tight Shinwon doesn’t really have to imagine what he looks like naked. He can see the definition of the muscle in his chest, how the t-shirt sleeves bunch up around his upper arms like no shirt on earth would ever fit this man properly.

What’s the most startling, however, is how unbelievably beautiful he is. Not  _ handsome _ . Beautiful. Stunning. His eyes are big and bright and curved in such a lovely way. He’s got thick pink lips and nice hair, perfectly arranged to make it look windswept and effortless.

The guy looks towards the door and then leans down a bit so his words aren’t drowned out by the music. “What’s wrong?”

Shinwon peers up at him. “My ex just walked in the door.”

“Oh.”

He shouldn’t just tell this guy the extended play of his relationship history. But there’s something about going through a bad break up. Something that makes you feel like you need to share it with total strangers. Something that acts as an explanation -  _ sorry I’m late, I got broken up with _ or  _ sorry I’m weird, I’m recently single _ .

Shinwon laughs awkwardly. “Yeah, my friends aren’t here yet and I don’t know what I’m gonna do. So don’t mind me, just trying to figure out where the fire exit is so I can run screaming into the night.”

“Did he see you?” the guy asks, genuinely concerned.

Shinwon scratches at the hair on the back of his neck. “Yeah. We definitely made eye contact. Guy with the blue button down.”

The guy looks towards the door. “Was it a bad break up?”

Shinwon sighs. “Uh...well...it wasn’t exactly my idea.”

“He’s looking over here.”

“Fuck.” 

The guy holds Shinwon’s gaze for a moment, his eyes catching the light from the dance floor - blue to red to green to gold. It’s not the only thing shimmering across their surface. 

At the exact same time that Shinwon says: “Do you think you could pretend you’re here with me?” 

The guy says: “Kiss me?”

Shinwon’s eyebrows feel like they’ve just rocket-blasted straight off his forehead and into orbit. “Huh?”

“Kiss me?” he asks again. “I can pretend we’re together. But you should make him jealous.”

It’s a great idea. Hyunggu had read their birth chart compatibility once. Shinwon didn’t retain any part of it other than that he had a bad habit of being too reserved and that jealousy was a flaw in their relationship. 

Shinwon cautions a glance out of the corner of his eye. Sure enough they’re being watched. Specifically, the fact that the guy has now moved a hand to Shinwon’s forearm right where the rolled sleeve of his shirt ends. He brushes his hand over the skin there, thumb dipping underneath the bunched fabric. 

The physical contact feels nice, but what feels even nicer is that this insanely hot guy is staring directly at Shinwon’s mouth. He doesn’t hide the way he looks hungry, his eyes are half-lidded and his own lips are parted. He’d come off a little flirtatious before, but now the look on his face sets off the proverbial firecracker in Shinwon’s belly. Something he hasn’t felt in several months. 

Shinwon kisses him.

The guy makes a soft noise straight into his mouth, then breathes through his nose, hands coming up to circle Shinwon’s waist and pull him closer. And Shinwon isn’t small, and the two of them are basically the same height, but there’s something about the bulk in his arms that makes Shinwon feel like he’s being smothered in the best way possible.

He cups the guy’s cheeks and pulls back enough to slot their mouths together at a different angle. He tastes like beer and toothpaste and he kisses like it’s a game he wants to win by any means necessary. He kisses slow and demandingly, tongue dipping past Shinwon’s lips to lick the back of his teeth. So, not just a game he wants to win, a game he’s an expert in, really. It makes Shinwon’s toes curl in his shoes. 

He’s pretty sure that the guy hadn’t meant  _ make out with me _ when he asked Shinwon to kiss him. But at the same time, the way he’s pawing all over Shinwon’s waist means he’s either an excellent actor or pleased with the outcome anyways. Shinwon assumes it’s the former. 

Shinwon peeks one eye open and sees the guy is already staring over his shoulder towards the front door of the club.

Shinwon pulls away first.

“I think that worked,” he says to Shinwon triumphantly before taking his beer off the bar and finishing the rest. “He looks pretty shocked.” He pauses, like it’s a complete afterthought. “I’m Hongseok by the way.”

Shinwon intends to turn around. But he gets caught up on how swollen the guy - Hongseok’s - mouth is and how much his chest is rising and falling with his breathing. The firecracker in his belly has turned into an outright fireworks display. 

“I’m Shinwon,” he mumbles. He feels like he’s been hypnotized and he sounds like it, too.

“Nice to meet you, Shinwon,” Hongseok smirks. He looks at Shinwon’s mouth and then takes a drink from his beer on the bar, keeping eye contact the whole time.

“Sorry I just put my tongue down your throat.” 

Shinwon is bad at flirting, but he’s good at using humor to ease tension - imagined or not. Hongseok barks out a laugh and then shrugs. “No problem.”

Shinwon glances back towards the door and Hongseok isn’t wrong. They’re being watched. Moreso now that Shinwon was just getting groped by a complete stranger in the middle of a bar. Shinwon turns back to Hongseok, who’s looking in the same direction Shinwon is looking with a surprising amount of vitriol for somebody who has no background information about the breakdown of their relationship.

Hongseok takes Shinwon’s hand, laces their fingers together, and smirks. “Hey.” He lifts an eyebrow. “Do you wanna go talk to him?”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah,” Hongseok squeezes his hand. “He broke your heart?”

Shinwon doesn’t answer, but the answer must be clear on his face based on the pitying little shake Hongseok gives to their clasped hands. Shinwon hasn’t held anyone’s hand in months. He forgot how much he missed it. He looks down at their fingers and then back over his shoulder at where all the missing parts of his  _ very _ broken heart are standing and staring. So he says: “What’s our story?”

“How long have you been broken up?”

“Not long enough for us to be serious.” Shinwon furrows his brows as he thinks. “Maybe we’ve been on a few dates. Tonight you’re meeting my friends for the first time.”

“What are their names?”

“Hyunggu, Hui, Jinho. Hui and Jinho went to college with me. Hyunggu and I work together at GQ.”

Hongseok looks surprised. “GQ? Like...the magazine?” 

Shinwon catches the appraising once over Hongseok. Sure, Shinwon is overworked and constantly tired, but his boots are work-perk YSL and the paintbrush-stroke shirt he has on was used in a shoot for next month’s issue. His job is  _ potentially _ the coolest thing about him. Honestly, he should have dropped the information earlier into the conversation.

“What do you do?”

“Personal trainer.”

Shinwon pulls a face. “Gross.”

Hongseok barks out a laugh. “Okay, so we didn’t meet at the gym then?”

“Absolutely not. Cafe?” 

“Sure. You spilled your drink on me.” 

Shinwon snorts. “That sounds like me, unfortunately.”

Hongseok squeezes his hand and smiles. “Come on. We can make it up as we go.”

It’s a bad idea and it’s completely childish. Hongseok is a total mystery considering they’ve only known each other for three minutes and two of those minutes were spent connected at the mouth. But Hongseok’s warm palm on his lower back carries him the few steps he needs through the outer rings of the dance floor’s orbit to where their target is standing looking dumbstruck and a little angry. Which is immediately so satisfying to see that Shinwon has to stifle a smile.

He hasn’t seen Changgu since that day he was sitting in his apartment trying not to cry. 

Okay, that’s a lie. He stalks him on Instagram even though Jinho had told him at least six times that if Shinwon didn’t block him he was going to throw his phone in the Han river.

Changgu is just as handsome as he remembers, but seeing him in person is a different exercise in yearning than seeing him on a iPhone screen. His hair has been cut recently, but his cologne is the same and the shirt he’s wearing is one Shinwon always thought he’d looked great in. 

“Hi,” Shinwon manages out with encouragement in the form of Hongseok’s hand wrapping around his own. 

“Hi,” Changgu echoes. He’s not even looking at Shinwon. He’s staring at Hongseok like Shinwon has a serial murderer on his arm rather than a person. Shinwon looks between them and Changgu’s familiar good-natured-go-fuck-yourself smile settles across his lips. “It’s been a really long time since I’ve seen you.”

“Yeah,” Shinwon says, feeling the initial bravado of the Make Changgu Jealous plan leaving his body in heaps. “Sorry.”

Hongseok sticks a hand out in front of himself. “Hi, I’m Hongseok.”

Changgu looks at his hand like he’s brandishing a knife before taking it cautiously. “Nice to meet you. I’m Changgu. You’re….?”

“We’re dating,” Shinwon blurts. “Like uh...dating. You know? Dating.”

Hongseok throws a glance at Shinwon like he’s trying to telepathically communicate for Shinwon to shut his mouth. “I’m meeting the friends tonight,” he says triumphantly. “We’re both a little nervous.” He knocks into Shinwon’s shoulder and gives him a smile like something he said is an inside joke.

“Oh?” Changgu says with his eyebrows raised. “I haven’t seen them in a while. Hyunggu still likes all my posts, though.”

Shinwon realizes four things very, very quickly. 

One, this half-baked plan is working. Two, he’s more anxious about it than he expected. Three, Hongseok is committed as hell for some inexplicable reason. And Four, Changgu’s weird territorial behavior makes him want to double down on the plan out of sheer spite alone.

“It’s going to be fine,” Shinwon says with a smirk. “It’s a big step. Massive step. But everyone likes Hongseok.”

Hongseok beams and it’s clearly not just him acting. He wraps an arm around Shinwon’s shoulders and smacks a kiss to his temple. Shinwon presses a hand to his chest and Hongseok touches it with his own, tender and perfect. He glances up at Hongseok and Hongseok responds by kissing Shinwon on the mouth so sweetly that Shinwon practically melts onto the floor.

When they lean their faces away from each other, he’s not pretending when he’s looking up at Hongseok with starstruck eyes. Shinwon forgets it’s an act for as long as it takes for Hongseok to turn away from him and look back at Changgu like he’s dangling a gold medal in front of his face and Changgu is standing at the finish line empty handed.

“I’ve heard a little bit about you Changgu,” Hongseok says and there’s an underhanded meaning to his tone that Shinwon can detect as  _ bitchy _ . “What do you do for work?”

Changgu crosses his arms. “I’m a actor.”

Shinwon makes a show of gripping Hongseok’s forearm. “Hongseok is a personal trainer.”

“Nice,” Changgu says in a way that demonstrates that he doesn’t really find it all that nice.

Hongseok’s eyes search Changgu’s body and then he smiles. “I managed to get him in the gym with me.”

“Really?” Changgu says with surprise. Shinwon feels the same level of shock at the lie, but Hongseok is either incredibly perceptive or a mind reader because it’s definitely something that will hit Changgu where it hurts. 

He’d asked him to do all sorts of things together. Some things were chalked up to laziness, some things were stubbornness, and others were because of Shinwon’s utterly ridiculous work hours. They included everything from eating shitty food that Changgu nagged at him about to not wanting to leave the house when Changgu was bouncing off the walls with boredom. One thing in particular was that Shinwon outright refused to go to the gym with Changgu, even though it was part of Changgu’s routine.

“Yeah,” Shinwon adds. “I cried the whole time. Like real tears. But he’s good at his job, I would have cried more if it weren’t for him.” The lie comes easily and Hongseok looks pleased that Shinwon is playing along even though he gains nothing from it working.

“I really want to see him at work too,” Hongseok says. “I’m  _ really lucky _ to be dating a guy who has such a cool job.”

Changgu doesn’t let the comment pass without scowling.

The three of them are silent in some form of a stand-off. The silence is broken by Hui screaming at the top of his lungs.

He barrels into Shinwon’s side and Shinwon might have fallen over if it weren’t for Hongseok steadying him. Hui hugs him tight, completely ignoring the situation he’s sprinted full-tilt into. Shinwon looks around his head to see that Jinho and Hyunggu have most definitely taken it into account.

Once he extracts Hui from his side, he lets Hyunggu give him a judgemental stare before accepting the kiss on his cheek. Jinho doesn’t come near him, he just looks right at Changgu and then back at Hongseok before he says. “Did we interrupt something?”

“No,” Shinwon says emphatically. “I just ran into Changgu. I didn’t expect to see him here.”

“Right…”

Hui points at Hongseok as if he’s just noticed him. “Shinwonnie who’s this?”

Shinwon looks at Hongseok apologetically. This wasn’t part of the plan. The whole  _ meeting the friends  _ thing. It was supposed to be theoretical. But it’s not like he can say Hongseok is just some guy with Changgu standing right there. 

Hongseok really doesn’t seem to care. 

“Hongseok,” he introduces himself again. He gives a little wave to Jinho and Hyunggu. “I’ve been seeing Shinwon for the last couple weeks.”

Hyunggu’s eyes light up and he grabs Shinwon’s shoulder like he’s trying to crush it in his palms. “Since when? Why didn’t you tell me?” He turns to Hongseok before Shinwon can answer. “Hi, I’m Hyunggu. That’s Jinho and Hui.”

Hongseok sidles up to Shinwon, wrapping an arm around his waist and squeezing his side. He gives Shinwon an award winning smile and then glances at Changgu who has drifted up closer to Hongseok’s side to accommodate how packed the bar is getting. “I’ve heard so much about you guys. It’s good to finally meet you. And it was pretty casual until recently. Don’t get mad at him for keeping me a secret.”

Shinwon wriggles his fingers in the air like half-assed jazz hands. “Surprise.”

Jinho arches one skeptical eyebrow. “You texted us that you were alone.”

“I was running late,” Hongseok saves. He rubs Shinwon’s hip and Shinwon is too ticklish not to squirm and laugh.

Shinwon elbows his stomach and Hongseok doesn’t even flinch. He’s got abs. Shinwon goes dumb for a second before he runs a hand through his hair. “Don’t worry I was mad at him, too.”

Hongseok grins. “He did. Which seems a little unfair considering  _ he’s _ the late one.”

Okay that one was Hongseok going out on a limb and being absolutely right. Shinwon is considering the mind reader theory.

“I want a drink,” Hui announces. “Round on me.”

Hongseok leans into Shinwon’s ear, breath ghosting over the shell of it in such a way that it sends a cascade of chills down his back. “Do you wanna dance?”

Shinwon turns to face him and they’re suddenly nose to nose. Hongseok is so pretty this up close. Before, when they’d kissed, he’d closed his eyes too fast and missed out on it. Now he can see the dark, dark brown of his irises and each individual eyelash. 

He can also see Changgu staring at both of them.

“If you can handle how good of a dancer I am,” Shinwon says with the purse of his lips. He presses his finger into Hongseok’s sternum and Changgu must overheard them because he looks exponentially more annoyed.

Hongseok licks his lips and cages his hands around Shinwon’s hips. He pulls their bodies flush and looks down between them with a laugh. “I’ll try to keep up.”

Jinho shouts something at them, and Shinwon should be looking for Changgu’s reaction, but he really can’t focus on anything but Hongseok tangling their hands and leading them out to the edge of the dancefloor. 

Shinwon isn’t used to walking out on a dancefloor unless he was deliberately going out there to make a scene, do something dorky and embarrassing on purpose to make people laugh. It’s not like him to walk hand in hand with an outrageously hot guy he doesn’t know. It’s really not like him to toss his best attempt at a seductive smile at Hongseok when Hongseok glances back over his shoulder. It’s definitely not like him to immediately crowd into Hongseok’s space and let Hongseok slip his fingers through Shinwon’s belt loops to pull him closer.

“I think you successfully made him jealous.”

Shinwon smiles. “Yeah he looked pissed.”

“Do you think we fooled your friends?”

They start to move their hips in tandem to whatever shitty dubstep remix of a top forty song is playing. Luckily, the bass is so loud, it’s impossible for Shinwon to fall out of rhythm. He can feel it in the back of his teeth, which he’s currently clenching so hard they might crack.

“I don’t know,” Shinwon practically shouts over the music. “You really don’t have to stay if you don’t want. I think you played your part.”

Hongseok smirks. “Are you saying you don’t need me anymore?”

“No. I’m saying you don’t have to be my fake boyfriend if you’d rather go.”

“I’m good.”

Hongseok moves confidently like the rest of his demeanor would suggest. And as predicted, he’s a good dancer. They get close to each other, enough so that Shinwon can feel the outline of Hongseok’s cock press against his hip. His brain short circuits momentarily.

“You stare a lot,” Hongseok says. It’s more a statement than an insult, but Shinwon still feels embarrassed.

“I’m sort of trying to make sure I didn’t like...hit my head on the sidewalk on the way over here....and I’m currently hallucinating this or something.”

Hongseok laughs and lets his fingertips drift over the back of Shinwon’s neck. “Me helping you trick your ex-boyfriend or…?”

“More like you wanting to  _ keep _ tricking my ex-boyfriend.”

“It’s kind of fun.” Hongseok looks at him head on and Shinwon wets his lips. Hongseok’s eyes follow the movement and then he grins. “And you’re hot,” he adds.

Shinwon leans his head back with his own laughter. “Okay maybe you only agreed to this because you’re out of your mind.”

He’s not a champion in self-esteem, but he’s also not blind. It was the same thing he felt when Changgu first told him he was  _ sexy _ back when they first started dating. He’s not sure what it is with built guys with pretty faces thinking he’s attractive, but maybe they’ve all got some sort of collective delusion. 

“I think he was pretty stupid for breaking up with you,” Hongseok says softly. It’s almost lost in the sound of the music. 

Shinwon can’t figure out how he’s supposed to respond. 

Hongseok presses a thumb into the notch at the top of Shinwon’s spine. “Can I kiss you again even though Changgu isn’t watching?”

Shinwon blinks rapidly like he’s trying to shake himself out of what he’s still half-convinced is a dream. 

“Yeah,” he nods. “You don’t have to ask.”

Hongseok grins. “Good.”

Shinwon loses a little bit of time like that. Hongseok keeps their bodies moving to the sway of the beat, but now there isn’t any pretense to keep themselves from  _ really _ touching. Shinwon licks into Hongseok's mouth at the same time he skims his fingers over the muscle definition of Hongseok’s back. He digs his fingers into Hongseok’s shoulders and Hongseok sighs into his mouth, kissing a little more insistently and knocking their teeth together.

Hongseok breaks the kiss to breathe against Shinwon’s mouth. He palms at Shinwon’s ass, insistent and dirty and Shinwon laughs under his breath because he’s not really sure what else he’s supposed to do. He knows what he  _ wants _ to do. But they’re still completely in public.

“Ok,  _ again _ , are we interrupting something?” Jinho says behind Shinwon. 

Jinho holds out a glass of soju to each of them and Shinwon pulls himself away from Hongseok. He takes the glass and rubs the back of his neck. It feels like Hongseok has burned imprints to the spots he’d been touching. 

Hyunggu comes up with Hui around his arm. Shinwon isn’t sure how many drinks they’ve had collectively between the last time he’s seen them to now, but based on how pink Hyunggu’s cheeks are, they’ve both had a lot.

“Hey,” Hyunggu points at him. “Hyung, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you dance like that in your life.”

Hui narrows his eyes at Hongseok. “Are you a bad influence?”

Hongseok laughs loudly and shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

“Definitely,” Shinwon adds over the lip of his glass. Hongseok looks at him with a lopsided smirk. 

It doesn’t fade even when Hyunggu tugs his arm and pulls him over to dance. Shinwon watches them move for a moment and feels a spur of jealousy he’s not really entitled to have. Hyunggu is a way better dancer than he is and he’s naturally so flirtatious that if it were between the two of them Shinwon wouldn’t stand a chance. 

Hongseok, however, looks in Shinwon’s direction and smiles. 

“Why didn’t you say anything about seeing someone?” Jinho asks.

Shinwon shrugs. He doesn’t take his eyes off of Hongseok except to register that Jinho is right by his side. “I don’t know, I didn’t want to jinx it.”

“Fair enough,” Jinho says. They watch as Hui starts to slide his way up to Hyunggu and Hongseok. The three of them dance in a tight little circle filled with alcohol and confidence. 

“Did you know Changgu was coming here?” Shinwon asks. He  _ has _ to ask. Or else the question will sit in the back of his mind for the rest of the night.

Jinho glares a hole into the side of Shinwon’s face. Offense clearly taken. “Of course not.”

“It’s weird seeing him,” Shinwon admits.

Jinho pats his shoulder. “Well now you have  _ this  _ incredibly hot person.” He motions towards Hongseok, who is mouthing the lyrics to a song. “I swear, Shinwonnie, I don’t know how you manage to attract guys that look like this.”

“That was vaguely insulting, hyung.”

Jinho shrugs.

Shinwon sucks down the rest of his drink and sets his glass on the hightop behind them. “I don’t really know if it’ll go anywhere. I don’t think it’s that serious or whatever.”

Jinho scowls. “What are you talking about? This guy looks at you like you’re the center of the universe.”

That’s a little shocking to hear. 

Shinwon excuses himself to the bathroom.

He uses it as an opportunity to splash water in his face and stare into the mirror for several minutes to ask himself just what the fuck he’s thinking. He’s decently drunk, enough that his reflection is swaying, and more than enough that he’s got this slurred internal monologue whining about missing Hongseok.

But he doesn’t know Hongseok. They’re just pretending that they’re seeing each other. 

Shinwon is a realist above all else. As much as his friends might argue that his general chaotic demeanor would suggest otherwise. He doesn’t like to fill his head with false narratives or daydreams. He doesn’t like to harbor silent crushes or hope that somebody will return his feelings. 

So  _ realistically _ Hongseok is treating this like it’s a little bit of fun and by the end of the night he’ll get bored and move on. And Shinwon will be prepared for that outcome. Because he’s a realist. And he’s not getting his hopes up.

That narrative flies out the door when Hongseok’s face lights up when he spots Shinwon approaching the group again. He’s really trying not to read too much into it, but Shinwon can’t help the frantic flutter in his stomach.

“Where’d you go?” Hongseok asks. He takes Shinwon’s hand for the last few steps and leads them close together. Hui and Hyunggu have drifted further into the crowd and Jinho is off talking to some guy in the corner. Changgu is nowhere to be seen.

“You miss me?” Shinwon jokes with a laugh.

“Yeah you’re my fake boyfriend, remember?” Hongseok quips.

He guides their faces close together again and closes the gap before Shinwon can register that Hongseok is about to kiss him again. He knows that he said Hongseok didn’t have to ask, but he still makes a surprised noise against his lips. 

Hongseok doesn’t take his time. He kisses Shinwon heady and rushed, like really did miss him and it wasn’t just some silly joke. He wraps his arms around Shinwon’s neck, cards his fingers through Shinwon’s hair. Shinwon takes it as an invitation to let his hands explore again. This time over the abs he’d felt earlier. Which is a mistake, because he can’t hide the soft little moan he makes in the back of his throat when he feels the cut of each individual divot of muscle.

“Hey,” Hongseok says against his mouth. “Let’s get out of here.”

Shinwon pulls away skeptically. “Are you serious?”

Hongseok is serious.

Shinwon doesn’t realize he hadn’t said goodbye to his friends until he’s a block from his apartment building. Hongseok’s hand in his hand in the back of a cab. Hongseok kissing him in the elevator and laughing when Shinwon’s hip bumps the alarm button. Private little goofy lovestruck things that Shinwon thinks he’d like to pretend are real for just a little bit more.

They end up barefooted and tipping over Shinwon’s couch. Shinwon lands first, Hongseok landing on top of him and knocking all the breath out of his chest while Hongseok laughs and laughs. 

“God you’re so fucking heavy,” Shinwon gasps. Hongseok keeps laughing.

They find each other’s mouths again in the dark because Shinwon was too over-excited to turn on any lights. It’s almost better this way, because his apartment is a complete mess and he’s trying to impress Hongseok, not convince him he’s a hoarder.

They kiss with all the grace of two people who have had a little too much to drink and a lot more sexual tension than Shinwon even realized. Hongseok kisses his mouth open again, hard enough to bruise, teeth dragging over Shinwon’s bottom lip until Shinwon hisses and arches his back off the couch cushions.

Hongseok smiles against his mouth victoriously, pressing their hips together and grinding downwards until they both grunt. It feels like it’s been ten years since anyone has touched him like this. Shinwon’s hands fly to Hongseok’s ass and Hongseok rolls his hips down again.

“You’re getting a little handsy for a fake boyfriend,” Hongseok chuckles. His hands are bracketed on either side of Shinwon’s head and he leans down to mouth over Shinwon’s throat.

“You started it,” Shinwon argues. Hongseok keeps moving their hips together and Shinwon is getting hard way too fast. The fabric of his jeans are becoming increasingly uncomfortable, but he doesn’t want Hongseok to stop moving against his hips.

Hongseok kisses along the cut of Shinwon’s jaw. “Well if I was your  _ real  _ boyfriend I’d pin your hands down so you’d stop grabbing my ass like that.”

Shinwon laughs and then he’s suddenly  _ not  _ laughing in the slightest. Hongseok sits up enough to grip his wrists on at a time, pushing them both up next to Shinwon’s ears on the couch. Shinwon’s next breath comes out shaky, eyes wide on Hongseok smirking down at him.

Hongseok moves their hips together again and Shinwon arches against his hold. Hongseok holds him down like it’s not even difficult, and Shinwon’s stomach clenches with another wave of arousal that makes him feel like a cup too full and spilling over. 

“And,” Hongseok continues. “If I was your  _ real _ boyfriend I’d tell you to sit still while I get our clothes off.”

Shinwon is panting. “Well good thing you’re not my  _ real _ boyfriend and I can do whatever I want.”

“Well if I was I’d tell you that if you did what I asked I’d suck your dick.”

Shinwon punches out a laugh and flexes his fingers on the couch. Hongseok looks satisfied and he rests back on his heels so he can strip off his own shirt before he goes for the top button on Shinwon’s jeans. And Shinwon takes back what he said about being grateful about not turning on a light. He hates himself for it. The dim street light glow from the windows lighting up the definition on Hongseok’s chest is not enough.

He lifts his hips so Hongseok can get his jeans and briefs down his legs, watching Hongseok’s eyes as they travel up his thighs to where his cock is resting on his stomach. He’s looking for Hongseok’s disapproval, but what he finds is that Hongseok’s kiss swollen bottom lip gets trapped between his teeth. 

Hongseok shuffles down as best as he can to be on his stomach between Shinwon’s legs. Shinwon plants one foot on the ground to give him space and Hongseok grips his inner thighs before he smooths his hands upwards so slowly that the anticipation might kill Shinwon. 

The first brush of his fingertips makes Shinwon twitch and Hongseok laughs dazed and slow. Shinwon sits up on his elbows to watch Hongseok’s mouth hovering over the tip of his cock, lips slick and plush, pressing the lightest kiss to the head before he drags his tongue up the shaft.

Shinwon collapses on the couch and flings a hand up to the armrest. His fingernails catching on the fabric grounds him enough not to come embarrassingly fast, but even still he’s having to talk himself down from it. Obviously, it’s been three months since he’s had somebody other than himself touch his dick, but it’s also that Hongseok is far too good at giving head.

He tries to stop himself from moaning by clamping down on his lips. The sound comes out garbled anyways, low and heavy straight from the center of his chest. Hongseok’s mouth makes the most obscene sound as he takes him deep and sucks on the upstroke. Repeating the action over and over again, precise and perfect and way, way, way too good. 

Hongseok pulls off with a pop and replaces his mouth with his hand. “And if I was your real boyfriend I’d let you fuck my mouth a little bit, but you’d have to watch me do it.”

Shinwon sighs. “If I was  _ your _ real boyfriend you’d know that having to watch that happen would make me come in like ten seconds.”

“Well, if you were my real boyfriend you’d know how much I’d like to see that.”

Shinwon leans up on one elbow again, shoulders shaking from holding his weight and his body feeling like he’s lost complete control over it. Hongseok gives him a cocky smile that makes Shinwon shudder and then he takes Shinwon back into his mouth all at once.

And Shinwon was completely right to say that watching Hongseok’s lips around his cock is way more overwhelming than just feeling it. He stutters out a gasp and Hongseok keeps his eyes on him, lashes fluttering slightly as the head of his cock hits the back of his throat. Shinwon sucks on his lip as he moves his hips upwards, just slightly, just to see how Hongseok will react. 

The both sigh at the feeling of it. 

Hongseok puts his hands on the couch on either side of Shinwon’s hips and Shinwon uses what little core strength he has to set a choppy rhythm. It feels like the fireworks display has gotten out of control, sparks flying everywhere, catching rooftops on fire. Shinwon feels lightheaded.

He fucks up into Hongseok’s mouth and Hongseok moans. The whole thing is messy and sloppy and Shinwon doesn’t fucking last half as long as he wants to.

“I’m gonna come,” he warms. “Fuck...fuck...Hongseok.”

Hongseok doesn’t move away. He lets Shinwon spill into his mouth, gripping the base and stroking him through the rest of it while Shinwon heaves out a breath he’d been holding. The orgasm hits him less like a tidal wave and more like a tsunami. He lands with his back on the couch, pushing his hips up as Hongseok works him through the aftershocks until he whines and shifts around from oversensitivity.

Hongseok pulls away and climbs back up to kiss Shinwon, lips bitter and teeth out with a self-satisfied smile.

Shinwon runs his shaking hands down Hongseok’s chest until he reaches the waistline of his jeans. He fumbles with the button, cursing under his breath until he can get Hongseok’s cock into his hand.

Hongseok keens. A high sort of sound that makes Shinwon’s mouth fall open in surprise. Hongseok shivers, head drooping down until his forehead is resting against Shinwon’s lips. His hairline is a little sweaty, but he smells like clean hair and cologne and Shinwon breathes it in. His hand works over Hongseok and it’s dry and clumsy, and the angle is all wrong, but Hongseok bucks his hips up into Shinwon’s hand like he doesn’t want him to stop.

“Feel good?” Shinwon asks softly. He uses his other hand to push Hongseok’s hair back and lift up his head in the process.

Hongseok nods as best he can, eyes screwed shut, before he leans in to kiss Shinwon again. 

Shinwon feels significantly less embarrassed about how fast he came when Hongseok’s soft moans start coming out higher and higher, hips moving more frantically. 

“Are you gonna come?” Shinwon says.

“Yeah. Yeah. Fuck.” 

“Are you gonna come for me?”

Hongseok curses out something intelligible before he makes a strangled sound and goes rigid. Shinwon can’t make out much of his face in the dark, but he can see the way his eyebrows are pinched and his mouth is hanging open. The whole display of it makes his cock valiantly try to get hard again, regardless of just how much he’s had to drink tonight.

Hongseok is breathing fast and heavy when he leans in to kiss Shinwon. Only this time there’s no urgency to it. Shinwon learns what it’s like to kiss Hongseok when he’s not acting sweet for somebody else’s benefit. The knowledge may ruin him.

“This doesn’t really feel like pretend anymore,” Shinwon says and Hongseok pulls away with an unreadable sort of expression.

“Did you think I was pretending to be attracted to you?”

Shinwon flounders for a second. “I don’t know. Wouldn’t you be a little confused by the situation?”

“What’s confusing about it?”

“It’s pretty hard to read the signals somebody is sending when you skip straight to a relationship.”

“Fake relationship.” Hongseok emphasizes.

Shinwon rolls his eyes. “You see what I mean?”

“I literally just had your dick in my mouth. What’s confusing?”

“This,” Shinwon says, motioning between them.

“Okay,” Hongseok smirks. “I want to  _ for real _ date you. Is that confusing?”

“You’re drunk,” Shinwon laughs. “You’re gonna regret that in the morning.”

“This relationship is never going to work if you keep being so dense.”

It’s a joke, but the sound of the word relationship makes a spark of hope rise up in Shinwon’s throat. He chokes on it a bit when Hongseok kisses him even though they’re both still laughing and clearly too tired. Shinwon kisses Hongseok until his jaw hurts, until he’s half asleep and the liminal space he falls into feels like the weight of Hongseok’s body on top of him. Their bare legs touching and Shinwon’s shirt getting rucked upwards.

“Wait,” Shinwon says finally.

“Hm?”

“I don’t want to fall asleep with dry come on my hand.”

Hongseok laughs into his shoulder and it doesn’t feel like he’s pretending at all.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/lithomancy) / [my curiouscat](https://curiouscat.qa/lithomancy)


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